Combatting Loneliness with Gratitude

The Fourth of July 2016 fell on our 11 month anniversary of moving to Denmark. Back home, we would've been celebrating the holiday with family and friends, enjoying the warm weather swimming in a lake or pool, most likely enjoying a few drinks. Instead, I found myself living vicariously through my US friends from the pictures and posts they put on Facebook. There were no fireworks here to punctuate the quiet of the night; there were no loud parties or buffets of delicious smelling foods. The day was pretty much like any other Danish summer day: a bit chilly, a bit rainy, and a bit windy. With one exception...today felt a bit lonely too.

Over the past year, my emotions have run the full gamut. Excitement, elation, nervousness, gratitude, fear, frustration, amazement, pride; but it wasn't until very recently that loneliness started to creep in and overstay its welcome ...

It's funny because whether you live 15 miles or 4000 miles away from someone you can still feel lonely. It's all about being proactive with keeping lines of communication open. In today's day and age, technology makes it much easier to stay in touch, but that same technology can also make you feel lonely, left-out and sad. Hence the Facebook posts that usually made me feel happy and glad to see faces of my friends and family -- instead, today, made me feel sad and lonely.

So, to combat the loneliness I'm feeling right now, I decided to come up with a gratitude list. Instead of focusing on the negatives -- the things I'm missing out on -- I'm choosing to focus on the things that make me feel happy today, July 6, 2016 in Hørsholm, Denmark.

1) my bicycle and my walking shoes: it has been 11 months of not driving a car for me here in DK. Grocery shopping has definitely gotten much more creative :)

2) living on an island - technically Sjæland is an island which means we are surrounded by ocean!! It's 3 miles to the water from our house

3) caprese salads - seriously obsessed right now. I think the fresh basil from my garden helps :)

4) the sound of Ben's laugh.  

5) Pinterest and Instagram - feeding my crochet obsession with an endless supply of new ideas

6) wonderful neighbors and new friends - everyone we've met has been so wonderful and has really made us feel at home

7) Pilates - I've never felt stronger in my life.  I still enjoy my other fitness activities but I've met lots of new friends and learned to do things with my body I never thought possible.

8) unlimited adventures - it sure feels like we've got so much to do around us and that we've barely scratched the surface of all the cool things here -- and that's just in Denmark!  Europe is a whole new adventure!

9)  coffee - nuff said

10) my garden.  I was so excited to get my hands dirty and grow my own food here.  It reminds me of being at home with my garden.  

11) Is (also known as ice cream).  Thank goodness Danes love it as much as I do! Vi spiser kun is på dagen, der ender på 'dag'

12) a wonderful husband who is on the same page as me (most of the time) and loves and supports me

13) loving and supporting parents who choose to have an active and present role in our life not only by checking in with us regularly but also by making time to visit us.  They really are a treasure and I'm so thankful for them. 

14) my friends back home: I have truly been blessed with a wonderful group of friends that I've known for over 20 years.  We've seen each other through many firsts in our lives -- both happy and sad.  While being far apart from them makes my loneliness even more apparent, I am so grateful that I have them constantly reaching out to me.  It's almost as if they know or can read my mind at times.  I don't know what I would do without these friends -- you know who you are!  XOXO

Well look at that!  Without even having to think too hard I have found so many things in my life to be grateful for.  This was definitely a worthwhile exercise for me to help combat my sadness today.  How about you?  Could you use some gratitude in your life right now?  Try making your own list!  You don't have to make it public like mine, but if you want to share some of your thankfulness here in the comments I'd love to read it! ❤️❤️

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 30

I am thankful for frosting faced little ones who aren't afraid to ask for what they want (even in little voices).

This morning, Sam and I went to have 'coffee' together.  I asked him what he wanted and he responded "a muffin like a cupcake with frosting".  When he saw this one in the case, it was over for him.  I asked him to order it for himself, and in his little voice he asks "can I peas have the frosting muffin with the orange carrot?" Melts my heart.....

And, for the record, he is the PERFECT coffee companion -- he asked me how my day was and sat across from my like the perfect gentleman.  SWOON!  :)

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 29

I am thankful that I get to see random things like this during the day at my job.  Who wouldn't love seeing peacocks outside their window?

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 28

I am thankful for cold nights which entice me to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket (and maybe my hubbie) and get some crafting done....

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 27

Today is my Mom's birthday...so what better thing to be thankful for than HER?

 Thank you Mom -- for bringing me into this world...

Thank you, Mom.  For guiding me while still letting me make my own independent choices.  I know I got a little 'over-independent' during my teens.  Thank you for putting up with me.  As a Mom now, I really appreciate that.

Thank you for being the best Granna my boys could hope for.  They are blessed with two wonderful Grandmothers in their lives.  Thanks for taking the time to slow down with them and to be a part of their busy lives!

Thanks for giving my boys experiences that I couldn't do on my own.

Thanks for being the beautiful, smart, independent and sassy woman you are.  I love you.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 26

On a Monday morning after a long holiday weekend....I am more thankful for coffee than ever before!

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 25

I am thankful for polite, well-mannered kids who aren't picky eaters.  That means I can take them on a surprise lunch date ANYWHERE and not have to worry if they'll be too crazy or won't eat the food.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 24

I am thankful for this little stinker...because sometimes he really IS a stinker...but most of the time he is a sweetie.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 23

Thankful for leftovers that make pretty turkey pot pies... Mmmmmm....

Thirty Days of Thanfulness: Day 22

We wrote one thing each night on a rock that we were thankful for and then we went through them and re-read them on Thanksgiving Day....

Thankful to spend the holiday with my family and friends.  And the delicious meal didn't hurt either!

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 21

I was extra thankful to see this number on the scale...because it meant I could indulge guilt free over Thanksgiving and allow myself that extra glass of wine AND extra slice of pie!

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 20

I am thankful I can see beauty every day -- whether it be through a foggy sunrise or a colorful sunset.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 19

I am thankful to have two working legs, a new-found passion for running, kids that sit in the double stroller (mostly) contently while I run anywhere from 3-5 miles -- and the ability to now run anywhere from 3-7 miles.

Sam was my running partner on Saturday -- and even though he asked me a few times 'you running, Mom?' -- I am going to pretend that wasn't a criticism of my pace or speed.  :)

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 18

I am sitting here trying to actually believe that I have a FIVE year old under my roof.  Whaa?  When the heck did that happen????  

So much has happened in the past five years -- and yet it feels like it is not possible that five years have passed since that eventful 2.5 hrs of my life...

And now we have a little boy who is turning 5 going on 15.  He loves outerspace and rocket ships -- he knows all the planets by name and wants to be an astronaut when he grows up.

He's starting to read sight words well and I am finding him with his nose in a book more and more lately.  He also loves doing math ('plusing' as he calls it) and he likes it when I make the equations really difficult -- more than 2 numbers at a time and really big numbers.

He's been very polite as of late and I am hearing tons of pleases and thank yous and lots of  'Yes Mom' which really makes me happy!

We had our first Parent/Teacher conference last night and it was a good confirmation of what we know already about this stellar little man.  He is well-advanced academically (needs to be challenged more), plays well with other kids, needs to be constantly moving, and needs to work a little better on his listening (especially when he gets excited).  He was one of the few kids in his class that could not only identify and write all his letters, but also make the appropriate noises/sounds that they make.  He can draw all his shapes really well -- has a great differentiation between his squares and rectangles even.  We couldn't be prouder of our little man -- and it is a reminder to us that we can continue to work with him and challenge him at home (only while it's fun though, of course).

I can't believe he is 5.  This morning when he put on some of his new 5T clothes I said to him "Oh Max!  You are getting so big! I can't believe you are wearing size 5 clothes already!  I am so sad!!"  And he responded "Don't worry Mom, even though I am getting bigger, I will always love you and hug you and kiss you.  I'll always be your baby."  

You are right little man, you are right.  And you are wise beyond your years already.  LOVE YOU.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 17

On Friday, the K4 class at St. Dominic's had their Thanksgiving celebration...so we got to hear about all the things that 4-5 year olds are thankful for...

I am thankful that little Max did so well in the play.  He was focused, paid attention, participated and even did his lines well!  We're super proud of our little pilgrim!

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 16

Sam has a very original way of showing that he is excited about something.  From an early age, he has made it pretty obvious for even the casual observer to know that he is keen on something.

Usually, his mouth opens wide and his hands start twitching wildly in the air as he stares at whatever has gotten him so excited.  It is pretty cute...and pretty hilarious.

He has been pretty obsessed with Mickey Mouse lately, so it was easy to catch his 'jazz hands' in action.  LOL.  A part of me hope he outgrows this soon...and another part of me thinks it is so cute and funny and original that I don't want him to.  Although...I am sure if he continues this into his school age years the other kids will probably be making fun of him.

It's still cute to watch.

So today, I am thankful for the little excited moments in our house -- and the laughter that usually accompanies them.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 15

For a new haircut.

And a husband who helps me take goofy photos :)

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 14

SNOW!

You're probably thinking -- who in their right mind is thankful for snow!  Well, I am thankful that I live in a place where I truly get to experience all four seasons.  I can't wait for snowmen, cross-country skiing, crackling fires and hot cocoa!

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 13

I am thankful for peaceful mornings and pancakes.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 12

I have the BEST best friend in the world.

Seriously, I do.

My best friend is sweet, funny, crazy, sincere, kind, generous, full of empathy, beautiful, gracious, classy, silly, and loyal.  I could probably come up with a LOT more adjectives, but then it would seem insincere.  She really REALLY is the best.

She's also Max's godmother and the boys' 'Auntie'.  I can't think of a better Auntie!

So many times, I wished for a sister.  And even though she may not be my sister in blood or true relation -- she was also be my soul sista.

Love you Manda!!

**all photos courtesy Shannon Wucherer Photography**