Doing hard things

I spent most of the last 8+ years trying to make my kids' lives safe and easy: cutting their food, holding their hands, kissing owies...you get the picture.  I felt that I was doing the right thing; being a good mom.

But life isn't full of safe and easy.  And often times, we don't get the choice or the chance to make things safe and easy...and what happens then?  I started to think that maybe I was doing a disservice to my kids instead.  Not that I would ever intentionally put them in harms way, but I started thinking about the life lessons I was teaching (or NOT teaching) them.  

You see, I have boys.  3 of them to be exact.  3 white, upper middle class, English speaking, male offspring.  I started to think, didn't they have enough advantage in life? I began to wonder how could I make them appreciate and not abuse or take for granted this privilege that they had not earned...but rather been born into...

When we moved to Denmark, we knew it would be hard on the boys.  But because of my earlier revelation about privilege, I welcomed the difficulty.  I realized that, for the first time, my boys would get to experience (albeit on a much smaller level) what it would feel like to be an outsider...a minority.  I hoped beyond all hope that they could take this opportunity as a life lesson and learn about empathy, understanding, privilege and inclusivity.

When we arrived in Denmark and picked schools for the boys we chose the public school route.  Whenever someone asked me where they went to school, I got curious looks and then I'd get asked why we didn't send them to the international school just 2 miles away when we were only here for two years.    While we didn't just pick the public school to make their lives 'hard', it was a definitely part of our consideration.  We wanted to integrate into Danish life...we wanted to make Danish friends and be motivated to learn the language.  International school just didn't mesh with our ultimate goals and wishes for our short time here.   

I won't sugar coat the first few months of school here.  They were ROUGH.  Daily complaints of:  'I miss my friends at home', 'I wish dad never took the job', even 'I hate it here'.  Refusals to try to learn Danish, refusals to try to speak it.  I started to lose hope and wondered if we had made the wrong decision...

But my boys, oh my sweet boys, they amazed me beyond my greatest expectations.  They complained but they didn't give up.  Max started to insist he needed to learn Danish so he could make friends in the neighborhood and play with them.  I can't even tell you how much it made my heart swell with pride to watch these boys walk so bravely into a classroom where they didn't know a single soul...or in the beginning, speak any of their language (nor they ours...except the teachers...English starts in 1st grade).  And yet day after day, week after week, they bravely went to school and tried their best.  Thinking about it now just makes me so incredibly proud of them and their strength, their tenacity, their bravado.  These boys took that mountain right in front of them and looked it straight in the eyes and then climbed it...and made it to the very summit!

Today we are nearly 10 months into our adventure here and Max is reading, writing, speaking and understanding Danish!  He's not quite up to grade level but he's doing a phenomenal job and even tested higher than expected on a Danish competence test and well above average on a national math test (part of which required reading instructions and a few problems in Danish).  Sam isn't far behind but he's been reluctant to speak Danish.  However in the last few weeks he's been trying to 'teach' me Danish (this is how Max started) and I've heard him speaking Danish at school and occasionally at home.  Ben speaks a mixture of Danish and English (sometimes in the same sentence).  He only is spoken to in Danish at his kindergarten and he responds in Danish there too.  

Today Max had his best friend over after school and my house was filled with excited talking in a language that I couldn't even understand.  Sam even joined in a bit!  It amazes me that in such a short time how far these boys have come and how much they've accomplished.  

Life is still going to have hard things in it.  It will never be simple or easy.  But I can always look back on this time and remember how this hard time went.  How, as much as I stressed about it, worried about it, cried about it, it turned out ok in the end.  My kids are champions.  They are resilient and brave and courageous and they didn't give up when the going got tough.  If ever there was a proud mom moment in my life...I think this one takes the cake.

Florida Vacation 2014 - Part 1

Our annual FL trip this year couldn't have come at a better time!  Temperatures in WI were dipping into double digits BELOW ZERO (and that wasn't even including the windchill)!!  Waking up at 3:30am was never more welcome than when you know in a few short hours you are going to escape the cold!

The boys were AWESOME travelers.  I know I always say that, but it is true!  No complaining when we had to wake up so early, just excited chatter from the backseat of the van on the way to the airport.  The older boys both navigated their own suitcases inside so I was able to check in 5 bags and a carseat all while pushing Ben in the stroller while Max was parking the car :).  The lady in line behind me asked me if I was very brave.  LOL  I told her that my husband was travelling with us too -- I can't imagine doing all that by myself!

We flew SouthWest this time, and although the airline is fine, I am not a fan of their boarding procedures.  Basically, they give you a number when you check in -- that number is directly correlated to when you check-in in relation to the other passengers.  A1 is the first number and C60 is the last.  Basically, they start boarding with A1 and you get on the plane and pick your seat.  If you are C60, you are pretty much SOL and have to find the last seat on the plane.  I checked in EXACTLY 24 hrs before our flight and got A60, B1, B2 and B3.  Seriously?  But even if we hadn't gotten such 'high' numbers, they do allow 'Family Boarding' at B1.  I just laughed and said if there weren't any seats together by the time we got on the plane someone else was going to have a very 'magical' flight.  But, there was no problem, and we got a row with 3 seats across (Mom with lap Ben, Sam and Max) and then big Max sat by himself.  The arrangement worked out perfectly in the end.  I'm sure big Max (who got some nice alone time on the flight) would agree. 

As you can see from the photo above, the olders behaved great on the flight.  I'm surprised no one actually fell asleep, but they didn't start to get restless until the last 30 mins, at which point the anticipation of landing was getting everyone on the flight restless anyways, so we fit right in.

Ben, on the other hand, took the opportunity to catch up on his zzzzs.  So I enjoyed a little snuggle time/

When we arrived, there was a NINETY-FOUR degree temperature difference!  Holy!

The boys took advantage of the warmth to enjoy a dip in the pool.  They sure love the water!

Grumpy took them down to the dock and cast his net and pulled it up chock full of mullets!

Apparently they didn't smell too good :)

And apparently Sam likes to imitate fish...

Then they checked the crab trap, but nothing was in there.

The next day, the temperatures took a little dip.  I hesitate to say it was cold, because it was still warm for us, but all the FL natives were bundled up in winter coats and hats and gloves, LOL.  We took the opportunity to go to the Fort Myers Imaginarium.  We went there 2 years ago, and not much had changed, but with the boys being older this time they enjoyed it much more.

We played around in the touch tank for awhile...they had starfish and hermit crabs that you could touch.

Then we got to touch the stingrays when they opened the stingray touch tank for a short while.

Granna and Grumps took the boys up to the hurricane simulator.  

And then we checked out the aquarium and reptile room.  Isn't this baby alligator cute?

So is this baby alligator :)

The rest of the museum was pretty fun also.  They had different stations where you could experiment with different things like magnets (as above), puzzles, gravity, etc.  It was a lot of fun for the boys and even for us adults!  Overall it was a great day and a great way to spend a 'chilly' day.  :)

Christmas with the McLaughlins

This year, we celebrated Christmas a little early with our McLaughlin side of the family.  It was great to spend a relaxed and laid back weekend with my husband's parents on our turf.  As an added bonus, they also got to meet their newest grandson for the first time in person!

Not bad trying to get 6 people to smile and look at the same time!

Little Max and Grandma 'Chili' doing some morning art ...

The morning after our 'Christmas' with the aftermath of gifts...

Little max was very excited about his gifts. Both of these were huge hits and still played with a TON.

Especially the snap circuits.  I have a feeling the bow and arrows will get more use outside later...

So much fun was had by Ben that he passed out cold!  :)

But he sure loved getting snuggles from his Gma!

Gma and 3 of her 4 grandsons!

Last minute snuggles...

We had a great visit Gma and Gpa!  We hope you come back soon!  Xoxo

6 years - Max!

How is it possible that this little boy has turned the ripe old age of 6?!?

It seems like just yesterday that we had our first whirlwind delivery, and now he's well past the stage of infant, of baby, of toddler and full fledged into little KID.  And while so much of the baby is gone, there is still some that remains...

But today, I want to remember everything about this child, where he is at 6.  It seems so old and yet still so young at the same time.

How he still sleeps with his trusty blue blankie, tucking it in with him at night and carrying it around the house with him.  He's worn a big hole right around the small tag on the side of it that he likes to rub his thumb over right before he falls asleep.

How he asks for...no, insists...that he get a hug AND kiss each night.

His eagerness to learn, to build, to compute, to understand.

His light blue eyes, sandy brown hair, perfectly olived skin and now his gapped, one-tooth-missing smile.

His slight stutter when he gets excited about explaining something...

His random exclamations of "I Love you Mom (or Dad) when emotion washes over him (like after he gets something he wants or he's happy).

The way his face lights up when I go to pick him up from school and how he races across the lot towards me and barrels into me, embracing my legs/waist in a HUGE bear hug - almost knocking me over.

His eagerness to please that he hides under the false pretense of 'knowing everything'

His love for his brothers and his irritation with them (mostly Sam) at the same time.  Still, he would move heaven and earth for them, and he gets visibly upset when they are upset.

His stubbornness.

His bossiness.

His kind and gentle heart.

His love for God and Jesus.

His passion for outerspace, rocket ships, Star Wars and Angry Birds (he's already got some pretty good planet trivia under his belt).

His ability to go from happy to sad back to happy again, and the intensity with which he insists he is feeling.

The adoration he shows his dad (veiled of course) and how proud he is of the things his daddy does.

The fact that he insists on cleaning out his toe lint.

His love for being goofy/silly/the center of attention. 

His obsession with treats and anything sweet.

His love for the iPad.

His love for playing house or school or other role-playing games.

He sleeps from 7:30-6:30 most days and if asked to, will even take up to a 2 hr nap.

The way he hums the ABCS when he brushes his teeth each night.

His infamous 3 second long hand washing.

That he stills wants to and ASKS to hold my hand.

His hesitation to try something new until he is able to mentally process it and overcome his fear/anxiety of failure.

The ease with which he makes friends - when I pick him up from school he's got kids from every grade saying hi to him and his response is to be cool and mutter "Hey".  It makes me laugh.

The fact that he calls his 'best friend' at school his 'best Dude'.

This child...the same one that tested us continuously when he was younger has been turning into the most amazing kid (not that he still doesn't test us from time to time).  There has been a remarkable change in him over the past few months (maybe it was just the dreaded half birthday syndrome we seem to witness here), so much so that big Max and I have commented on it to each other repeatedly, and other people in our lives have noticed it as well.

I think big Max said it best in what he wrote in Max's birthday card  "Happy 6th birthday, Buddy! You are becoming such a great kid!  Can't wait to see what the next year will bring."

Summertime fun!

This summer has been chock full of FUN!  As a result, it seems to have flown by...  Here's a small snippet into our adventures:

I spent a fair amount of time working on my crocheting skills. I feel like I've made some decent progress.  More on that later...

We took our annual trip to the WI State Fair...this time accompanied by Granna and Grumps.  Little Max rode the giant slide all.by.himself.  Sam rode down with Grumps.  They both declared it was "awesome" at the bottom and wanted to do it again....

We saw lots of animals...

We even got to pet a few!

We ate yummy cream puffs!

We tried out the foot massagers...

We learned about being energy conscious...

Maybe next year he'll be tall enough, LOL....

We had lots of outdoor adventures...like 'painting rocks' (with water).

Lots of ice cream was eaten.  McTrois insisted.

We had to wear our shades...even indoors!

Our little garden started producing (mine is bigger than yours!)

Little Max decided to experiment with lipstick.  (I had left a tube on the kitchen counter and was rushing around one morning to get everyone out the door to go grocery shopping.  I scooted everyone out the door and into the car.  Max and Sam buckle themselves, so I just climbed in the front, quick checked their buckles and drove to the store.  When I opened the back doors to get them out, I look up at Max's face and just about lost it!  LOL.)

We had another fun summer of t-ball (and end of the year ice cream social).

We hung out at the zoo...

We smiled a lot...

We rode sparkly dragons...

We got fun airbrush tattoos....

We met new little cousins....  Welcome Liam Patrick!

We snuggled up and slept tight on long road-trips.

We grew some monstrously huge pumpkins at Granna and Grumps'!

The biggest one ended up topping the scales at 106 lbs!

The boys decided that would make good farmers.

We baked banana bread and muffins...

We cleaned the house (only occasionally).

We were introduced to Calvin and Hobbes....

And we FELL IN LOVE with it.

Lots of swinging for the little ones, and running for daddy (who ran two half marathons this summer...one road and one trail).

We picked juicy red tomatoes if we could get to them before the dog (who steals them right off the plant).

We taught little brothers how to play slap jack....

We celebrated our German heritage at Milwaukee's OktoberFest.

Which is never complete without a beer!

We wore our lederhosen for the last time...

We looked pretty cute in them.

But I swear we will not be happy when Mom blackmails us with these pictures when we are old enough to go to prom....

But I'm willing to bet if she's the right girlfriend she'll think you're pretty cute too ;)

We had more ice cream (blue of course).

Snuggly snoozes....

More ice cream :)

We had to have talks about appropriate places to go potty....

We cheered daddy on as he ran his first trail half-marathon.

And ran our own first race!  Kids 1K!

We got our faces painted....

Silly elephant...

We got ready to run our big race...

Little Max ran it all by himself!  He beat daddy and Sam!

Sam and daddy finish the race too!

We did math puzzles that daddy made up...

I think daddy has to make it harder next time...

Sweet smiles.

Now that fall is here...we bid summer adieu!  But thankfully we have lots to look back on to appreciate!